Perhuduran awek: Billie Beaumont

Dear diary, my friends have been trying to get me to go out more and I've been a bit resistant.

I mean, if you had an app on your phone that delivered fresh bottoms to your door on command, would you go out?

So, I was at this restaurant and it's fancy, but as appetizers came out, I noticed this woman looking at me.

You know the look. She gazed at me like I would quench her thirst.

She was cute and all of a sudden I needed to powder my nose.